Being diagnosed with cancer can often stir up a lot of different feelings for not only the patient, but also family and carers. It is important to realise there is no right or wrong way of dealing with the diagnosis and the feelings you might experience. Some of the feelings commonly experienced are described below.
It’s common for both patient and carers to take time off work which may lead to a reduction in household/living income.
If you are worried about money, paying your mortgage, rent or household bills please contact the Essex wide Macmillan Welfare Benefits Service, who can assist with welfare benefits, Blue Badge, housing queries, Macmillan grants and much more. Visit https://citizensadviceessex.org.uk/macmillan.htm or call 0300 3730952 to find out more.
If you are worried about how to cover the costs associated with food you may be eligible for food vouchers – please contact the Macmillan Information and Support Service in your area to find out more information.
Shock is often the first feeling that is experienced when being diagnosed with cancer. It is hard to believe it is happening to you. People react differently when in shock. Some people want to talk about things, others feel numb and find it very difficult to talk.
It can also be difficult to take in all of the information given to you. The staff will be happy to speak with you as often as you need. You may find it helpful to write things down or have a friend or family member with you.
Fear of a cancer diagnosis can be very frightening.
Cancer treatments have greatly improved over the years, and many cancers can be cured. If a cancer cannot be cured, many treatments can help keep the disease under control, allowing people to live as normal life as possible. Many cancer patients are frightened about their cancer treatment, and it often helps to discuss these fears with your family, friends or a professional to get support.
Denial is being unable to accept your cancer diagnosis at first. This could be not wanting to know the details, or to ask any questions. This is common and you should discuss with family, friends or a professional to get support.
Anger and irritability are not uncommon with a cancer diagnosis. People can feel angry in a range of ways, (frustration, shouting, crying, rage). It may be beneficial to discuss these feelings with family, friends or a professional to get support.
Withdrawal may mean that you do not wish to take part in normal activities of daily living, such as personal care, socialising, shopping, housework. It may be beneficial to discuss with family, friends or a professional to get support.
A cancer diagnosis is overwhelming and may challenge your normal coping skills. You may find that your normal activities become too much causing you stress and anxiety. It may be beneficial to discuss with family, friends or a professional to get support.
If you would prefer to refer yourself to see a counsellor or find out about complementary therapies, visit https://www.helenrollason.org.ukor call 01245 382888.
You can also contact the Macmillan support line on 0808 808 0000 or the Samaritans 116 123.
The NHS can also help if you call 111, using option 2 for urgent mental health support.
Managing stress or poor sleep with a cancer diagnosis can be difficult as it is a very stressful time. This may lead to physical and/or emotional difficulties, such as extreme tiredness, anxiety, depression, insomnia. It may be beneficial to discuss with family, friends or a professional to get support.
For help and advice, visit:
Anxiety support and relaxation techniques:
NHS Anxiety, Fear and Panic (Includes Audio: How to cope with anxiety - a relaxation technique) — www.nhs.uk/mental-health/feelings-symptoms-behaviours/feelings-and-symptoms/anxiety-fear-panic
The Christie NHS Foundation Trust (therapeutic relaxation recordings) — www.christie.nhs.uk/patients-and-visitors/services/complementary-therapy/relaxation-recordings
Macmillan Cancer Support (Relax and breathe audiobook/podcast) — www.macmillan.org.uk/cancer-information-and-support/stories-and-media/audiobooks/relax-and-breathe
At home BHF cardiac rehab exercise videos (easy to follow videos for all levels from the medical experts of the British Heart Foundation) — www.bhf.org.uk/informationsupport/support/cardiac-rehabilitation-at-home/cardiac-rehabilitation-exercise-videos
MIND (Anxiety and Panic attacks) — www.mind.org.uk/information-support/types-of-mental-health-problems/anxiety-and-panic-attacks/anxiety-disorders
MIND (How to cope with panic attacks) — https://www.mind.org.uk/information-support/types-of-mental-health-problems/anxiety-and-panic-attacks/panic-attacks
Cancer Research UK (Breathing and Relaxation techniques video) — www.cancerresearchuk.org/about-cancer/coping/physically/breathing-problems/treatment/breathing-relaxation-techniques
Maggies Centre (Relaxation and Breathing Exercises - Video, audio and written information) — www.maggies.org/cancer-support/managing-emotions/relaxation-and-breathing-exercises
Exercise and movement is very important with a cancer diagnosis. We know being physically active can be hugely beneficial for your physical and mental wellbeing. Patients with a cancer diagnosis will benefit from improved fitness levels ahead of cancer treatment, with the potential to reduce the impact of some side-effects of treatment whilst improving your quality of life (emotional and physical wellbeing).
To find out more, visit https://www.cancerresearchuk.org/about-cancer/coping/physically/exercise-guidelines.
If you are interested in becoming more physically active, contact one of the Macmillan information centres. You will be referred to either the local cancer exercise programme, general exercise classes which will work for you, or receive guidance on how to start being more active before joining a formal exercise programme.
If you are struggling with mobility, we can refer you to individual tailored support.
Being diagnosed with cancer often raises questions on what a healthy diet should look like. It is good to be able to look at evidence-based information.
Cancer and its treatment can have an impact on a person both physically and emotionally. Look Good Feel Better offer practical workshops and classes to improve wellbeing.
The skincare and make-up workshops run in several locations across Mid and South Essex, all other sessions are offered online. To find out more and to book a workshop, visit https://lookgoodfeelbetter.co.uk or call 01372 747500.
Following surgery for breast cancer it is important to find a well-fitting and comfortable bra to restore self-confidence. Nicola Jane offers free Breast Care bra-fitting services at Southend NHS Hospital and Helen Rollason Cancer support centre at Hatfield Peverel.
There is also an option to access personalised advice from a Breast Care Specialist virtually.
To find out more and to book an appointment, visit https://www.nicolajane.com/fitting-services or call 01243 537300.
For many patients hair loss (hair, eyelashes and body hair) is the biggest worry when being told they will need to undergo chemotherapy.
It is important to add, not all types of chemotherapy have hair loss as a side effect. Your professional will discuss this with ahead of treatment starting.
For more information (or a free beanie or a set of false eyelashes) and support visit https://www.cancerhaircare.co.uk or call 01438 311322.
Your clinical team can advise you how to obtain a wig should hair loss be a side effect of your cancer treatment.
If you are unsure where to start, please call the Southend Macmillan Information and Support centre on 0300 443 3043 or email mse.macmillan.centre@nhs.net.
A cancer diagnosis can affect your relationships with family and friends in many ways.
For more information and support, visit https://www.maggies.org/cancer-support/managing-socially/personal-relationships-and-cancer.
There is often a strong urge to protect children from cancer and its treatment and families often attempt to keep things normal. Children cope best if they know what is going on and can ask questions and access support within the family as well as at school or from professional support services. It may be beneficial to discuss with family, friends or a professional to get support.
To find out more about how to support children, visit https://www.cancerresearchuk.org/about-cancer/coping/mental-health-cancer/talking-children.
It can be difficult to talk about cancer or cope with comments made by well-meaning family members and friends. It can often feel that not talking about what is going on is easier but sharing worries and feelings can draw people closer together at a time when life feels unsettled.
If you are interested in how talking can help, visit https://www.maggies.org/cancer-support/managing-socially/talking-people.
Workshops on how to speak to children — https://www.fruitflycollective.com.
Support for children and young people during a parent's cancer and beyond — https://theosbornetrust.com
The stress of a cancer diagnosis and the side effects of treatment may affect your sex life and it is difficult to know who to get advice from. It may be beneficial to discuss with family, friends or a professional to get support. You may also find the resources below also helpful:
Returning to work can be a worrying time. You might not feel ready to return to the same level of work and might need to consider an extended phased return. You might need to request a change to your working hours, or responsibilities, but are not sure what your rights are.
The charity Working with Cancer can provide free coaching to get you ready to speak to your manager or HR department in the organisaiton you work for. Visit https://workingwithcancer.co.uk or call 07910 835585.
Alternatively, you can speak to the Work Support Service via the Macmillan Cancer Support helpline on 0800 808 0000.